Adoption Class: The Room Surrounded by Kleenex & The Search for Our Queen

Casey and I were one of the first couples to enter the room and everywhere we looked there were boxes of Kleenex.

I had grabbed a few of my own tissues before walking out the door.

I knew it was going to be emotional for these two days of the Adoption Education Seminar.

As other couples filed their way into the room, I quietly watched them.

I wondered, "What was their story?"

I knew ours.

On May 19th, 2009, Casey and I would be married for eight years. No children.

We went to doctors to be tested. Was it because of me? Was it because of Casey? Was there any reason?

The doctors had nothing to say to us. To them, we seemed fine.

I almost wished there was something said because then there would be an opportunity to fix it.

We had wanted kids since the beginning so eight years seemed like an eternity.

While at the home of Casey's parents, his father mentioned adoption and how some little one may be waiting for us through that way.

Something burned within me.

On the drive home, I told Casey. He said he felt it, too.

Yes, we had heard the stories of people who became pregnant once they started the adoption process. That was not the reason we started it.

We felt that regardless of how we had children--even if we became pregnant along the way--that we would still pursue the adoption process.

So here we were--at this two-day Adoption Education Seminar.

Many things were shared. Many things were learned.

Every so often I flashed to the Colombian story The Gardener's Wife.

In this story you have two women who desperately want to have children: the Gardener's Wife and the Queen.

The Queen is able to have children but, unbeknown to her, the two jealous older sisters, act as midwives and switch her children for either a dog, a cat, or a stick.

Every time the Queen must confront the King. What must he think.

But the Queen never says anything. Instead, her emotions are revealed through a sigh, a grieving groan, or a silent tear.

The Queen does not know that somewhere beyond the boundaries of her kingdom is where her children have been placed. Or at least placed as to how the Winding River carried the floating wooden boxes.

These boxes come--one by one--when the Gardener's Wife is in her deepest despair. She and her husband see these babes as blessings from above.

It was meant to be.

It was a gift.

Warmth and love returns to the heart of the Gardener's Wife. Not that she was cold and unfeeling before, but a certain side of her was unable to function until this moment.

Meanwhile, the Queen is in despair. How could she have these children and yet not have them? What curse had come upon her? When would she have the family she so desired?

Then, as can only happen as time passes, the Queen sees the beautiful garden kept by the Wife. She sees the oldest child. Her child. Something stirs inside her but she does not understand. . .that she is looking upon her own child.

Though, the Queen is filled with a burning. She feels three things are missing and ask the Gardener's Wife if her three children could go on a quest for these things.

More adventures happen but it is not until the quest is achieved that the Queen returns to the home of the Gardener's Wife. The two mothers realize that the three children are their children.

The mother who brought them in to the world and the mother who taught them how to live in the world were together.

And the children loved them both.

Then I thought to my life.

Somewhere was a Queen--the birth mother--for the child we wish to have in our home.

The Adoption Education Seminar shared how there was a time when the process is "my baby" to "our baby" to "your baby".

My eyes were opened more so to this process when we had the Birth Mother Panel. This was a part that was open to our family and friends.

I was thrilled--and tears formed--when Casey's parents were there along with three of my sisters-in-law with spouses.

Then, Holly Robison was there.

Holly would harmonize during the telling of The Gardener's Wife and it was special for her to be there. We both thought of the story as we heard the moving stories from the birth mothers.

We hugged.

Then I turned to my husband.

We knew that out there was the Queen, our Queen.

Until we tell again,

Rachel Hedman

Professional Storyteller

Former Co-Chair of Youth, Educators, and Storytellers Alliance (2005-2008)

Tel: (801) 870-5799
Email: info@rachelhedman.com

URL: http://www.rachelhedman.com

How-To Blog: http://storytellingadventures.blogspot.com

Performance Blog: http://familyfamine.blogspot.com
Other places to find me: Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Professional Storyteller

"Forsaken Brother" & Ojibwa Influences on the Boy

There are so many beautiful cultures in the world, and, as a storyteller, I do my best to honor them.

The same is for the Ojibwa people.

I shared what I learned with Julie Barnson, my story buddy for "Forsaken Brother", and we were also able to discover even more elements that could prove crucial to the telling of the tale.



Ojibwa Cultural Elements that may Shape Story:

• The boy will be at least seven-years-old as this is the age when children are expected to help with the chores. Perhaps I will place him at age eight about to turn nine as this could add to why the older sister feels she must abandon him.
• When boys reach age twelve, they go on a Vision Quest. Though the boy in "Forsaken Brother" will not yet be this age, he could reflect on this future ceremony. During a Vision Quest, there is fasting that is chosen of the boy's own free will. Whereas, in this story, he is forced to starve. A Vision Quest is often connected to sights or sounds for the boy only. Listening to the wolves howl and seeing them off in the distance could seem like a vision at first but then realizes that they are truly before him.
• The words for food and water in the language would add more culture to the story. For example, the word for "water" is "nibi" or pronounced "ne-be".
• At one point the boy finds shelter in a tree. Though the type is not shared in the original story, I may make it a maple tree. The Ojibwa would gather syrup as families. The boy could take his fingers and peel the bark away, attempting to make a hole, and then remember that it is wintertime and the syrup comes in spring. The tree that once gave him food could not at his time of greatest need.
• While huddled in the tree, he could reflect on a story or two about Nanabozho, a half spirit/half human being. Nanabozho is credited with the discovery of wild rice as well as hunting skills. He also drove Winter-Maker away so spring could come and food be present once more. Of all times, these skills are needed for the boy. This could be a little story within a story.
• The family may be part of the Nooke ("Tender", i.e. Bear) clan, which is known for healing and defense. These attributes are prominent in the story. The bear, lynx, and wolf are part of the Nooke totem/doodem. It is the largest totem.
• When someone is ill, it is thought to be of the spirit as well as for the physical body. I have added that the sister could see her father's eyes through the eyes of her younger brother. The eyes are often thought as the "window to the soul".
• Mourning for the dead--There is mourning for about a year and then you can join the community again. This could partly explain why the lodge was so far from the village at the beginning of the story. The sister may have been surprised when the older brother left the lodge so soon as the year of mourning was not complete for the passing of the father or of the mother.
  
• Ritual for the dead--The dead are placed in special clothing and have a spirit bundle that holds a lock of the dead person's hair. Then the dead are wrapped in a blanket and birchbark. The body is removed from the west side of the wigwam and food is placed with them. A close family member dances around the open grave. A barkhouse is made and reflects the symbol of the family's clan over the grave.
• The boy would know about the food buried with his father and mother, though the thought to get the food would never have crossed his mind.

Until we tell again,

Rachel Hedman

Professional Storyteller

Former Co-Chair of Youth, Educators, and Storytellers Alliance (2005-2008)

Tel: (801) 870-5799
Email: info@rachelhedman.com

URL: http://www.rachelhedman.com

How-To Blog: http://storytellingadventures.blogspot.com

Performance Blog: http://familyfamine.blogspot.com
Other places to find me: Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Professional Storyteller

Lullaby of Love: Song of the Gardener's Wife

Songs and lullabies rushed to my mind after choosing "The Gardener's Wife" story for the grand finale piece of the "Family Famine: Hunger for Love".

In a matter of moments, I could envision the gardener's wife rocking a baby in her arms. This image quickly switched to me caressing a baby. As my husband and I do not have children yet, such an image stirred emotions of great excitement.

The words came out of my mouth and I could see them sung to my future children.

In the story, a baby is sent to the gardener and his wife by the river. Water is also an essential part to birth.

So the words that came to me:
Oh my child, my precious child
The waters sent you here
Oh my child, my precious child
To have you close and near

This lullaby is short though such a song of love is often that way.

I called my storytelling friend, Holly Robison, and told her my discovery. I sung the lullaby to her and asked if she could sing it as a duet for a certain part of the story. We have told tandem tales before where we harmonized.

She said yes.

I explained that when the song is first sung, I would sing it. Then Holly would harmonize with me for the second time. She would "oooo" the tune while I narrated that throughout the village other mothers and fathers sung the song. This would be a hint to the audience to join in. As they would have heard the words twice and there are four lines with two lines repeating, then it would be simple enough. The words--though few--would also be in the program.

I may have an ASL interpreter so we would have the song in sign language.

Something happens when everyone sings together.

As the adopted children of the gardener and his wife grow up in the story, then the song will be sung again though not in such a dramatic way as the first time. However, the audience would be familiar with the tune and the words and could join in each time.

As the gardener and his wife wanted children for a long time, it seemed natural that the wife would have another song--a grieving song--while waiting for that moment.

The words and tune have yet to come to me.

There is a line that I feel must be part of it:
There's a hunger in my soul. I yearn for more.

As I explore the story more, then more inspiration will come.

Until we tell again,

Rachel Hedman

Professional Storyteller

Former Co-Chair of Youth, Educators, and Storytellers Alliance (2005-2008)

Tel: (801) 870-5799
Email: info@rachelhedman.com

URL: http://www.rachelhedman.com

How-To Blog: http://storytellingadventures.blogspot.com

Performance Blog: http://familyfamine.blogspot.com
Other places to find me: Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Professional Storyteller

"Economy of Language": From Character's View

The previous post was also on "Economy of Language". Now for another view.

On September 10, 2008 I finally created an account with Twitter, a social online tool. This could be an exercise for storytellers to test their skills in being concise. You are limited to 140 characters (notice characters and NOT words) per post.

How would each story in my repertoire look if it was condensed to 140 characters? This may be a little longer than the one-liner found inside the cover of books above the ISBN number.

Telling the story aloud and condensing within a five-minute, three-minute, or one-minute frame seems easy compared to only having 140 characters to write that same piece.

President Thomas S. Monson, 16th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, shared how in the 1960s during the Vietnam war, Jay Hess became captured in Hanoi after his plane was shot down. Brother Hess had not seen his family for over two years and was uncertain when he'd see his family again.

He had only 25 words to send a message and this is what he chose to write--
"These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college, press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year."

What would you write to your family?

Now, what if you only had two characters?

This question is easy for me: 88.

My parents are both ham radio operators and "88" was something they could tell each other over the airwaves as "88" meant "hugs and kisses". Another way to express "I love you". These characters look a lot like the "xo" that many people place on birthday cards to wish the same thing. It's easy to see why "88" came to equal "xo".

Here's a clip hosted by Walter Cronkite on ham radio:


Can you sense a story? Perhaps one of my personal reflection moments within "Family Famine: Hunger for Love" could share the importance of the characters "88" to me.

That is love within the "Economy of Language".

Until we tell again,

Rachel Hedman

Professional Storyteller

Co-Chair of Youth, Educators, and Storytellers Alliance

Tel: (801) 870-5799
Email: info@rachelhedman.com

URL: http://www.rachelhedman.com

How-To Blog: http://storytellingadventures.blogspot.com

Performance Blog: http://familyfamine.blogspot.com
Other places to find me: Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, LinkedIn, Professional Storyteller